Taking time

Since this move over I feel as if time has sped up. I have blinked and here we are nearly 8 months later. 

I remember as a child and even a teen feeling as if days would drag on and on. I remember the days feeling like weeks in anticipation for something exciting.

Now as a mother of 4 I feel I never have enough time to plan, prepare and do all the things I desire to do. 

The hardest part has been learning what things are most important and what things are of least importance.  Elder Dallin H. Oaks spoke about this in a general conference talk. He said: "We have to forego some good things in order to choose others that are better or best because they develop faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and strengthen our families." 

I have really had to evaluate my life and decide what those good, better and best things are.  I found myself feeling frustrated with minor things. It became such a daunting task when trying to take 4 kids to the beach bringing along bags of all the necessities for a new baby as well as a large beach umbrella, beach toys and my camera. Was I really getting mad at my kids when sand was thrown in the direction of my beloved camera bag? 

Photography is a passion that I have learned needs to be put on hold. It is one of the good or better things. I was worrying more about the perfect picture to capture behind the lens of my camera and then missing out on the memories I could be making with my young children. This doesn't mean I halt taking any pictures it just means I needed to simplify. My camera phone became the easiest way to capture moments with a very active family. I have nearly 4000 photos that are not high quality or professional in any way but are priceless to me. 

Rebecca is nearly 9 months. She has 5 teeth says mama, dada and is already crawling. She LOVES eating apples and cherries. She loves me and it fills me with joy. She is no longer a baby, we are entering toddler stages and this saddens me. I will truly miss having a baby.

Reflecting on this I am making a better effort to rid those good and better things and focus on the best. To be the best wife I can be by strengthening my marriage and relationship with Aaron. I want to be a more engaged mother, to become my children's best friend. 

We are living in a cruel time and watching the world become more wicked. Our children are exposed to the most horrible things and much sadness. I need to create a home where they feel loved, safe and happy. I need to help teach them how to be a hard worker, how to be respectful and to love those around them while keeping their own standards high. 

I have found a better focus and am happy. It will all take time but I am seeing significant improvements. 

I still find time for myself every day and strive to read and educate myself as well as exercise.  Instead of feeling overwhelmed when all 4 kids are screaming for my attention I am better able to spend an hour tossing a ball with Joseph and am more patient as he is learning to speak more fluently and it takes him 5 minutes to explain something.  More willing to find the energy to help teach Rachael to read when she has a small desire to do so. We spend 30 minutes on homework and then can happily color for another 30 minutes.  When Josh is having a melt down I can recognize he is crying for help. I have learned to talk with him differently, I was denying it before but he is older now and needs to be treated so. He feels much more appreciated when I treat him like an 8 year old instead of a 5 year old. I can actually sit down and enjoy doing homework with him or teaching piano for 30 minutes.  These things I honestly struggled with and still do at times.  These things are nearly a daily occurrence and take heaps of my time. But I love it and wouldn't change it for anything.  Little Rebecca is always there to love me and gets so excited to have my attention. Whenever I am having a hard moment I can always turn to her.

Some have said to me that they are amazed at how i've handled moving over here and that it must have been so hard. Yes, it was hard at times but I believe it would have been much harder if I didn't have my little family with me. I am grateful for them!

Time is a priceless thing. How are we all managing and spending our time?