Clucky

"Clucky" is a word I have been hearing a lot lately whenever women are around Rebecca. Someone who is 'clucky' means they want to have a baby. I guess in Utah we would call it "baby hungry".

I love hearing the Australians say clucky, its such a cute word referencing babies and being a mum.

Rebecca fits the roll. She is such a happy smiley baby and very interactive with everyone she comes in contact with.  There hasn't been a single day that she goes unnoticed. People stop me everywhere just to smile at her. While we were at Costco the other week three young children were admiring her and turned to their mum and said "mum look at this gorgeous baby, I've never seen a baby with blue eyes like that." The comments we get are very entertaining. 

I am saddened to see her grow up so fast.  She's 5 months, rolling all over the place and already has her first tooth.  Never have I wanted time to slow down as much as I do now. I feel it's all going too fast and before I know it Rebecca won't be a baby anymore. 

She brings our family so much joy and I love seeing our family interact with her. Most of all I love being her mum and that she recognizes me as that. I will admit it, I do enjoy her wanting and choosing me over anyone else. It makes me feel loved, wanted and needed :)

Rough Days Ahead

Today was a HARD day!
I am feeling burned out, emotionally and physically drained.

Two kids in full time school now and our mornings feel insane as we rush around trying to get out the door with everything done and what they need for the day. 
The days at home are a lot quieter now, Joseph finds himself lonely and bored without his older siblings at home. We talk A LOT about everything. 

Potty training is rough, I hate it! It is much harder this time around. We were making progress but then everything turned upside down. Here we go again. What happened to my motivation? My energy? 
I sit down to feed Rebecca as he decides to go hide and poo on the floor. Im angry, raging inside and want to yell out, it takes everything inside of me to keep calm. We talk about it and keep talking about it all day focusing on how we can be better and what I can do to help him not to be scared.

I get so distracted with having a baby at home I honestly sometimes forget that I am potty training and then I have a big mess to clean up because he has had an accident somewhere. I literally lie down for a few minutes after clearing up the mess and unintentinally fall asleep for 5-10 minutes because I am so drained. 

We pick Josh and Rachael up from school and they are happy. Rachael is beaming, she's had a fantastic day and is telling me all about it. She is full of energy and radiating.
Josh is smiling and doesn't have much to say as usual.

We get home and it begins. Rachael is as sweet as ever unloading her backpack, starting homework and changing out of her uniform. Josh has no desire to do anything. Im constantly asking him to do his reading, change his clothes, pick up his clothes up off the floor, unload his backpack, practice piano.... Nothing happens, it's like I'm non existent. 
Finally Josh decides to go to the piano. He starts lessons again this Thursday and he has a test to see where he will be placed. As he sat down at the piano he broke down as he realized he had forgotten how to play Star Wars. We opened the book and he struggled terribly to play the first line?
He broke down. It wasn't pretty.  I tried to reassure him that through practice he will get it back. 

We talked and talked but he was beyond talking out of anything. It was terrible, he was so angry at himself and the world around him. We heard things like: "I hate myself, I am so dumb and stupid, I am so mad that we moved to Australia, my life has been ruined because we moved here, people at school think I am dumb and I am, I am so short and get made fun of it..." The entire night was like this. It's exhausting to hear and breaks our heart. Nothing we say or do has seemed to help get him out of this state. 

There were so many events from tonight that had everyones emotions in every direction. I think at one point or another everyone was extremely mad and angry, crying and then laughing.
I was at one point the worst mom ever, hated and the meanest person in the world. But yet the next hour I am supposedly the best and loved.

I struggle to deal with my own emotions, how in the world am I supposed to help my 8 year old understand and deal with his own? It's a terrible feeling and so draining. I am struggling with it so badly and it has pushed me beyond limits I even knew I had.

Aaron is reading a book with me this month called "How to talk so kids will listen & Listen so kids will talk". It is incredible, yet everything I feel I have currently been doing is so wrong. Have I created this unhappy emotional child? Is it because he doesn't know how to recognize and deal with his own emotions?

The hardest part is trying to actually use the techniques we are learning when things get this bad. Everything feel so out of control and my blood starts boiling. I want to go crazy at him. 
I have watched Aaron as he has taken advice from the book and used it with Josh in many ways. I've seen how Josh has literally switched from evil devil child to the sweetest most caring and loving 8 year old i've ever known. How does this even happen? I think I loose my patients with them easier as I am dealing with it 24/7

Whatever the solution or whatever needs to happen I still do not know. All I know tonight is that I am going to bed with a slightly broken heart. I have been humbled by my imperfections once again. We must push forward and begin another day tomorrow. I pray I will have the strength to be better and rise to the challenge before me. I pray that I can help raise happy children with courage and strength in these last days. 

Regardless of how horrible tonight ended up I still love these kids more than anything. They really do bring me joy. Josh has such incredible potential and is absolutely loving and so caring to his sisters. He and Joseph don't get a long so well at the moment but the love he has for Rachael and Rebecca is beautiful. He is so protective of his little sisters and looking out for their well being.

These pictures just warm my heart and bring me a little peace of hope and joy for tonight. 
Tomorrow is another day, I will rise up and begin again!

The New Year

We entered the new year with a bang. 

The evening began with some new friends, the Blyths and Proutings, and an Argentinean barbecue. The kids had fun running and playing all evening. We all barely made it to see the new year in with sparklers and fireworks. 

Sleeping in until 9am was a treat for everyone.

The kids decided to create their own spa and salon and treated Aaron and I to some nice foot rubs, head massages, back massages and Rachael did my hair. All while we watched some programs on sharks.

That afternoon we had the Bonnars over for a nice barbecue and games. We played boys vs girls at Cranium. The girls won !!

Valentines Day

After dropping kids off at school I headed into the city once again with Joseph and Rebecca. We met Aaron for lunch and ate at a Mexican Taqueria "Guzman y Gomez".  

Joseph had a lovely time eating the chips and pico de gallo while watching all the birds. It was a beautiful day to be in the city. Men walking everywhere with flowers and gifts in arms for their loved ones.

We took a walk 15 minutes south to the Yarra River. On our way we enjoyed watching some incredible street performers.

Once getting to the river we stayed only briefly. The flies were insane and pestering way too much so we turned back.

On our way back Seppi and Rebecca fell asleep so we stopped to indulge ourselves in a nutella and banana crepe. The crepe maker spoke French, I always enjoy hearing Aaron exchange a few words in the language :)

We explored the city a bit more and ended at Sensis where Aaron took us up to meet his co workers. 

It was a beautiful day out.

The rest of our weekend was filled with a new member baptism and stake conference. The talks and sessions were so uplifting and motivating. The best stake conference I have ever attended. 

Myuna Farm

Monday - 20 January 2014

After an insane week of 110 degree weather while Aaron was in the USA for his sisters wedding, we were full of adrenaline and excited that he was coming home the next day. So we gathered all our energy and decided to adventure out to Myuna Farm. 

Sandra joined us and made the kids lunch. Seppi and Rachael had been asking about visiting a farm for weeks, it was now time.

We started the excitement off with pony rides.

After the ponies, the bunnies were the next biggest hit. They could have stayed in the pen with the bunnies for hours.

The gorgeous baby goats were my favorite and the $2 per ride on tractor was Seppi's favorite.

We were given a loaf of cinnamon raisin bread to feed the animals. As cute as cows may seem, they are incredible scary to me. Massive animals with huge tongues. One cow reached over the fence and licked another kids ear. 

After eating our lunch the kids finished off playing on the park. There is this spinning contraption (similar to the tea cups at Disneyland) that Rachael and Josh love playing on. Rachael took it a little too far and ended up throwing up her lunch. It was then we decided it was time to leave.

It was after this trip to the farm that I realized one of Rachael's biggest allergies. She is proving to be more and more similar to Aaron with her asthma and allergies. She had a horrific asthma attack right before bed, I made the mistake of letting it get too far. I should have had her take a shower with some aromatherapy oils after getting home but I didn't. I am convinced that her attack was caused by the hay or straw.  It was scary but we pushed through it and got her better. I was so grateful I had asked Aaron how to use the transformer converter before he left. Otherwise I wouldn't have been able to use our nebulizer. 

Melbourne CBD

31 January 2014

The main city here in Melbourne is incredible! I could spend hours and hours exploring it.

Prams here are super expensive, $500-$900 for a pram is considered reasonable. Yikes.
I started looking online for a inexpensive used one. The one I brought over is not compatible for Melbourne's tiny spaces. I needed one of the compact double easy to maneuver types.
I found these grandparents that were willing to give a complete set to me for $80. No Way! It was so worth it. So I drove up to Tullamarine (about a 50 minute drive) and collected it. It was the best purchase.

I then decided to meet Aaron in the big city for lunch. I was brave; driving in the city is a serious talent you must have. So many confusing junctions and new road signs etc. Luckily I made it ok.

Parking was SO expensive and the parking garage was so tiny. I got stuck a couple times moving inch  by inch back and forth trying to get out of a tight turn. It was terrible.

Once we were out and about it was glorious. We walked to this French Restaurant where we shared a delicious chicken salad and calamari with the best chips (fries) i have ever had. Seppi was loving the calamari and ate more than half. For dessert we spoiled ourselves with bread and butter pudding. The BEST EVER! If you haven't tried it, it's a must.

It took me over an hour to get out of the city and I barely made it back in time to collect Rach and Josh from school but it turned out to be a wonderful day. 

These are the best kind of days.

Josh's Baptism

I still can't believe I have an eight year old. Where has the time gone?

I had always had an idea of how I thought the day would go for our first child's baptism. Never in a million years would I have imagined us doing that in Australia.

I am usually very organized with events like this, but this time it came so fast. I wasn't ready and nor did I know the things I needed to prepare for outside of Utah. Because there are so many children baptisms every month in Utah, things are done a little different. The program and everything is arranged for you. All I would need to worry about it getting fit for a white suit, sending out invites to family and friends and then preparing the food for afterwards.

The sunday before Josh's baptism we drove to the Melbourne temple to take some pictures and I put together a little invite that we sent out to a few of our new friends and ward members. 
Literally a couple days before his baptism I was in a panic.  I wasn't ready, we didn't have white clothing for Josh, we needed to plan and prepare the program, create programs for the day, ask someone to play the piano, give prayers, prepare food and fill the font for us. Whhaaatttt? 

I went to Costco and bought finger foods, muffins, fruit, cups, plates...

Josh had asked his grandparents back home to speak at his baptism a week or two earlier. They were given assignments and recorded their talks that we played on the day.

I was really missing my mom and the help she would have given me. I have been blessed to have angels put into my life here in Australia that helped make the day special.
Sandra took the lead on so many things, she made calls and arrangements, purchased items I forgot to and even found some white underwear for Josh. Yes, it's literally impossible to find white undies for boys here, she found some women's that could pass as boys briefs. 
She corresponded with two other people and they found white pants and an extra white shirt for Josh to wear. Noellene went out and bought a pair of boys white cricket pants. Lesa loaned me a white shirt. I was feeling overwhelmed with help and extremely emotional. 

The night before Josh's baptism Aaron realized he didn't have white pants. He had forgotten that he didn't bring his over from America and had been borrowing them from the temple. Early Saturday morning he was frantically tracking someone down, Marcelo kindly let Aaron borrow his and brought them around early that morning. 

Sandra continued to remind me through all this that I need not worry. That I needed to focus on what was special about this day and not all the 'fluff'. It really did help me focus my attention and worries. We sometimes let ourselves get so caught up on all the 'fluff', the non important things.  It was a good reminder that I needed. 

The day began a little stressful but it turned out so wonderful. Better then I had ever expected. 
I was overwhelmed with joy for our son Joshua and his choice to be baptized. I was emotional hearing our parents speak to Josh and overcome with love by all the ward members that showed up to support us. 

 I had put the food I bought into the kitchen and planned to get it out after the baptism. By the end of the baptism Lisa W. had arranged and incredible spread of food in the Primary room. As I walked in I nearly burst into tears. There was SO much food, people brought plates and plates of food. Someone grilled up sausages and Lisa baked up some ham and cheese croissants. I was speechless, didn't know what to say or do. My heart was filled with incredible joy and love for all of these wonderful people. It truly was the perfect day!

I am so grateful for the women pictured below. They helped to make this day perfect for our family and particularly Josh. I will always remember and love these women dearly.

*Funny side note:  We had forgotten to take the second white shirt for Josh to wear after coming out of the font but no one realized until after the baptism. 
While we all went back into the Primary room where we watched mormon messages and wrote special notes for Josh, Aaron was coming up with a solution.  Aaron ended up wearing his wet white shirt under his suit and dressed Josh in his spare shirt. No one even noticed but I had to take a picture once we got home.  I was wondering what took them so long to come back into the room.