Every day has it challenges good and bad. With four kids it's very rare that it is ever quiet in the house. The most stressful time of day is after school pick up when all four kids seem to 'need' all my attention at the same time. Joseph is usually at his wildest, I think he gets so excited to have the older two home that he acts out in hopes of gaining their attention. It rarely ends up without screaming and fighting.
Today had a different kind of challenge at hand.
Aaron is our 'wake up call' in the morning but last night was suffering from what we think was food poisoning. Poor guy was up all night hugging the toilet and suffering horrendous stomach pains. He therefore slept in and stayed home from work completely exhausted.
I got up and made my rounds getting the kids out of bed for our regular routine.
This morning was a bit different because Rachael started school swim lessons today.
Rachael has a fear of the water, I am not sure when or how it began but I think her fear comes from the deep waters and her lack of confidence in it. She is fine on the beach when she is in control of the depth she reaches but not in a pool.
So as usual the house becomes a busy beehive first thing in the morning. Today we are running a bit behind because we got up a little later. Josh is surprisingly on fire as he is pumped and ready for the day. He is busting out his chores, makes his lunch and is all ready to go by 8:00 singing and humming along the way. By 8:15 he is out the door on his bike to meet his friend and ride to school.
Rachael is still struggling to get herself together, she's nervous about swimming. Dressed, lunch made and bag packed but she doesn't want to eat and she has been to the toilet 3 or 4 times now. I realize it's anxiety. We talk, I try to calm her and help her get herself together. She speaks again about her fears and as we put on her swimming cap she looses it. It turned into this emotional crying and fearful mess for her.
Rachael is a very loving and happy child. She aims to please and it takes quite a lot to make her upset. Once she is upset however it is quite a task to calm her down. This was one of those times.
Usually Aaron saves the day when things like this happen (Rach has always been a daddy's girl) but he was more or less passed out in bed from his awful night.
She is muttering through her tears things like "I look awful in my swim cap, I don't want anyone to see me without glasses on because I look silly" "They will make me jump into the deep side"....
My heart breaks as she says these things.
Just this weekend we had the privilege of attending a devotional with Elder Bednar on marriage and family. Members would ask questions and he and his wife would answer them. It was so incredibly uplifting and not like anything i've experience before.
He spoke a lot about 'mirrors around us'. How our children are our mirrors and what we see in them is a reflection of ourselves, good and bad. He went on to explain how the things that irritate us about our children or spouses are usually things we have issues with ourselves. I have not been able to get this out of my mind. It is helping me to change the way I act and react to the children. I am trying to pay more attention to what I say or don't say.
This mornings events brought all these feelings flooding in. Why would she not feel pretty without her glasses? Sure, she doesn't remember herself without them but she is nearly 6, this shouldn't be an issue yet right?! I realize that I have said things about myself showing insecurities in my looks and how I feel about myself in front of her and realize I am staring in that mirror. I need to help her see herself differently.
Sister Bednar spoke about praying for DISCERNMENT. Discernment to help teach our kids to see the potential they have in themselves. To see and understand WHO they really ARE. This comes through our interactions, discipline and through our own examples. She expressed how this helped her deal with hard situations when they arose at home. I cannot shake this from my mind either. It is SO real and so important yet why do I feel like this is all new to me? Discernment may be my new favorite word.
Through learning and significant struggles I was able to get Rachael into the car and off to school. We chatted and I tried my very hardest to show my support and love (regardless of how irritated I may have been at the time). She was so hesitant but as soon as we walked into her classroom it was like a light switch flipped. Rachael is an incredibly strong person and what I saw as she walked into her classroom completely amazed me. She immediately became confident and happy with the situation. I followed her as she put her bag away and began preparations to load onto the bus. She then asks me to help her put her cap on, no tears just smiles. WHAT? Lined up and walking to the bus I can see she is thinking through some things. She looks at me and I realize she's trying to work out how she is going to quickly switch from her glasses to her goggles without anyone seeing her. She asks me to help her do the switch now and she will just wear the goggles on the bus. Oh dear! I calmly explain that she can wear her glasses to the swimming pool and switch them there. She smiled and skipped off.
I was worried about how it would go but still had confidence she'd be ok. Joseph had a sporting class today so we couldn't go to the pool with her. Her best friends' mum, Seema, was going and said she would help Rachael and keep an eye on her.
When picking Rachael up from school I had 3 different mums tell me how incredibly organized Rachael was after swimming. They couldn't believe how well she can organize herself and follow directions. That made me so happy and other than a bit of exhaustion after school Rach was as happy as a songbird.
This was just a small bite into a HUGE day. Again, a glimpse into our lives here. 6 people, 6 different personalities and many many different struggles and learning paths. I/we have SO much to LEARN.
On Monday Rachael received a "Star of the Week" award in front of the entire school for "always showing respect towards others and a great commitment to learning". She was stoked about it and so happy that both Aaron and I were there to see her get it.
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